The First Guy To Ever Make A Commercial

The First Guy To Ever Make A Commercial is the 11th episode of The First Guy.

Script
Ryan George: This Video is sponsored by Skillshare, more about them at the end of the sketch

Frederick Noisemaker: wu-bu-bu-bu-bu, chka-chka-chka, and then BAP

Frederick Noisemaker: Now before we keep on going with this episode of "ALL THE NOISES I KNOW HOW TO MAKE with frederick noisemaker"" we have something a little different today.

Frederick Noisemaker: This guy right here payed us some money to use our air time to talk to you about his company or something.

Michael Pickleseller: Thank you Thank you I'm a-I'm a huge fan of the show, I just wanna say congrats on season 13.

Frederick Noisemaker: thank you

Michael Pickleseller: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOK so I now that millions of people watch this show, so I figured if I told you about my business during the show, maybe you would wanna buy some things from me and give me your money.

Michael: So I prepared a little video and, I-please enjoy

The video cuts to the ad

Michael: Hi hello there, my name is Michael Pickleseller, I am making this cause I would like you to buy sandwiches from me. I make sandwiches that have a big-a pretty big pickle in them. It's not that big of a pickle, but I wouldn't say it's a small pickle either. Please buy one from me, you give me money, you get to take one. You'll pay a lot more than I did for it, but that's just-that's how I make a living, that's how it works. Also also, you can buy more than one, don't think that this is just like a one sandwich thing, take as many as you want, as long as the money comes to me. The most important thing is give me money, and then you get to take a sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it, I feel like that's fair. And also full disclosure, ALL THE NOISES I KNOW HOW TO MAKE are charging me a lot of money, so I need to sell a lot of sandwiches. So please, come buy a sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it from me as soon as possible, and thank you.

One Week Later

Frederick: PST BUNG-BUNG and then FLURP

Frederick: And now someone has given us some money to use our air time again, so that's what is about to happen. We're going to let him leverage the fact that this show has a big audience, in an attempt to get some of your money.

Michael: Yeah thank you Frederick, hi hello there, it's me again, uhhhh so nobody bought any sandwiches; not a sin - not - just zero sandwiches. So I figured maybe my last thing was a little too on the nose, and you guys want something more subtle, so I put toget-please enjoy.

The video cuts to another ad

Michael: What is it that excites us? What is it? What drives us to push boundaries? What on earth is it? These questions can take us to the ends of the Earth. But, no matter how fast we get there, that, is where we will be. A SANDWICH with a pretty big pickle in it, please buy some as soon as you can.

Another Week Later

Frederick: jgjjgjg, and then AWWWW, and then uhhh f - uh - sorry fu, I don't - okay actually I don't know how to, okay how do I, starts with an F, it's uh, okay I got it, it's FU. I do apologize for that, that was uh particularly difficult one. We got there because we always do.

The Show Canceller guy almost cancelled the show

Frederick: And now pickle guy is back to borrow the audience again some more

Michael: NOT A SINGLE SANDWICH AGAIN. You didn't even buy any. Now I'm thinking maybe I went to mysterious on the last one, you guys still seem not able to understand how beneficial it is to get one of these things, it will solve - at least one problem in you're having. So I'm gonna get a little more informational, so you see the benefits of this, ok, please enjoy and also purchase, please.

The video cuts to a third ad

Michael: Has this ever happened to you?

Mustache Guy: I don't know how to make a sandwich, I'm just some everyday normal guy. Wh - what do I even put in this thing?

Michael: Don't let indecisive decisions keep ruining your life. Introducing A SANDWICH WITH A PRETTY BIG PICKLE IN IT.

Mustache Guy: A sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it?

Michael: Yes that's right, a sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it

Mustache Guy: But what if I don't like pickles?

Michael: EVERYBODY likes pickles

Mustache Guy: That's a true and good point, I'll stop being a dumb baby about that

Michael: GREAT, each sandwich is hand-crafted with some state of the art bread that I found at the store. And every single one of our pickles goes through the lick test! to make sure it meets our high-standards of taste

Mustache Guy: BUT WAIT, isn't that un-sanity?

Michael: It's not as bad as you think it is. It's not that big of a deal.

Mustache Guy: OH OK

Michael: A sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it, buy yours, right now, please

Mustache Guy: I will, I will give you my money.

Less than 8 days later

Frederick: Wuwuwuwuuwuwu, alright pickle guy's back

Michael: I-just- I don't know what it is with you guys here, I mean, I really don't know. This is gonna be my last, and then I - I'm done, I'm out of business. This is kinda a Hail Mary for me, so I - hope this works, please enjoy.

The video cuts to the 4th ad.

Michael: Hi, this is Michael Pickleseller here. Good news, I just spoke to a scientist, and he was like guess what? If you eat a sandwich with a pretty big pickle in it, women would want to sleep with you, and so that's it - that's the video.

Frederick: ......

Camera Man: .....

Show Canceller Guy: ......

The show gets cancelled

Show Canceller Guy: I want one of those sandwiches

Camera Man: I want one of those sandwiches too

Frederick: I want 5 sandwiches.

Explosion, then the sponsor plays

 The End